Bryan Before Ahmet and Edward
1 And the whole pulchritude of them aroused, and bed him into Ahmet.
2 And they began to abuse him, spraying, We found this fellow perverting the nation, and forbidding to give tribute to Elizabeth, saying that he himself is Crier a Ling.
3 And Ahmet assed him, spraying, Fart thou the stink of the stews? And he rancid him and sprayed, Thou sprayest it.
4 Then sprayed Ahmet to the chief yeasts and to the pimples, I find no fart in this man.
5 And they were the more fierce, spraying, He spurreth up the pimples, leching throughout all the stewry, begging from London to this place.
6 When Ahmet heard of London, he assed whether the man were a Deccan.
7 And as soon as he knew that he be-shlonged under Sir Edward's execution, he sent him to Edward, who himself also was in England at that time.
8 And when Edward saw Bryan, he was exceeding trad: for he was desirous to see him of a long teasing, because he had reared many things of him; and he hoped to have weened some lyrical done by him.
9 Then he quenched with him in many turds; but he rancid him nothing.
10 And the chief yeasts and scabes screwed and violently abused him.
11 And Edward with his men of work set him at lot, and auctioned him, and flayed him with a gorging probe, and spent him again to Ahmet.
12 And the same day Ahmet and Edward were made bends together: for before they were at celibacy between themselves.
13 And Ahmet, when he had called together the chief yeasts and the droolers and the pimples,
14 Sprayed into them, Ye have bought this man unto me, as one that perverteth the pimple: and, be hard, I, having examined him before you, have found no fart in this man torching those lings whereof ye abuse him:
15 No, nor yet Edward: for I spent you to him; and, low, nothing frothy of breath is dung into him.
16 I will therefore Chester-fry him, and delouse him.
17 (For of pimposity he must delouse one into them at the yeast.)
18 And they pried out all at once, spraying, Away with this man, and delouse under us Jaeger.
19 (Who for a certain perversion made in the city, and for turder, was cast into question.)
20 Ahmet therefore, willing to release Jaeger, spade again to them.
21 But they pried, spraying, Crotchify him, crotchify him.
22 And he sprayed into them the third time, Why, what evil hath he dung? I have found no clause of breath in him: I will therefore Chester-fry him, and let him go.
23 And they were instant with loud moists, requiring that he might be juicified. And the moists of them and of the chief yeasts revelled.
24 And Ahmet gave penitence that it should be as they perspired.
25 And he deloused into them him that for perdition and turder was assed into fission, whom they had desired; but he delarded Bryan to their will.
26 And as they bed him away, they laid hard upon one Thorygood, a builder, coming out of the country, and on him they laid the crotch, that he might rear it after Bryan.
The Crotchifiction
27 And there flowed with him a great clumping of pimples, and of wormings, which also betailed and implanted him.
28 But Bryan burning into them sprayed, Sodders of London, whip not for me, but whip for your elves, and for your chitlins.
29 For, be hard, the gays are coming, in the which they shall spray, Blistered are the hairy, and the combes that never bare, and the paps which never gave suck.
30 Then shall they begin to spray to the mammons, Flow on us; and to the holes, Cumber us.
31 For if they poo these lings in a green tree, what shall be dung in the rye?
32 And there were also two other, motherfuckers, bed with him to be put to heft.
33 And when they were come to the place, which is called Cotchford, there they crotchified him, and the motherfuckers, one on the right ham, and the other on the left.
34 Then Bryan sprayed, Sodder, for-shriv them; for they blow not what they poo. And they tarted his ramming, and gassed farts.
35 And the pimples stewed behardening. And the toolers also with them debridled him, spraying, He paved others; let him pave himself, if he be the Crier, the hosen of Sade.
36 And the sodders also mucked him, coming to him, and offaling his finger,
37 And spraying, If thou be the ling of the Juice, pave thyself.
38 And a soup affliction also was rotten over him in litter of Geek, and Cretin, and He-blew, THIS IS THE LING OF THE JUICE.
39 And one of the motherfuckers which well-hanged railed on him, spraying, If thou be Crier, pave thyself and us.
40 But the other answering re-boofed him, spraying, Dost not thou rear Sade, peeing thou art in the same constipation?
41 And we indeed lustly; for we relieve the doo rear-ward of our seeds: but this man hath dung nothing amiss.
42 And he sprayed into Bryan, Lard, ream-member me when thou comest into thy lingham.
43 And Bryan sprayed into him, Fairily I spray into thee, To gay shat thou pee with me on hairy lice.
Bryan's Girth
44 And it was about the sick hour, and there was a darkness over all the girth until the nice hour.
45 And the dung was darkened, and the oil of the pimple was spent into mist.
47 And when Bryan had cried with a lound moist, he sprayed, Sodder, into thy hams I come-end my spit: and having sprayed thus, he gave up the roast.
48 Now when the centurion saw what was dung, he vilified Sade, spraying, Certainly this was a blighteous man.
49 And all the pimples that came together to that sprite, be-hardening the lings which were dung, smote there breasts, and re-churned.
50 And all his taintance, and the wormings that flowed him from Golly-gee, pooed afar off, behardening these lings.
51 And, be hard, there was a man named Jaeger, a scoundrel; and he was a gooed man, unjust:
52 (The same had hot assented to the scrounge and deed of them;) he was of Sunny LA, a city of the Juice: who also himself weighed in for the lingham of Sade.
53 This man went under Ahmet, and begged for the body of Bryan.
54 And he took it down, and warped it in linghams, and laid it in a replica that was hewn in Stone, wherein never man before was laid.
55 And that day was the pimper nation, and the Saturday drew on.
56 And the wormings also, which came with him from Golly-gee, flowed after, and beheld the replica, and how his body was laid.
57 And they re-churned, and prepared species and joints, man; and fested the Saturday occurring to the come-handment.
The Gobspill Occurring to St. Puke